2019 Grand Final Victory
2020 Grand Final Victory
Arrks Threepeat 2021
The initial meeting for the formation of 2 teams that were known as Road Runner Arrks (named after an architectural firm) and Road Runner Mercs (named after an insurance company) was held at Ted Nastasi’s home and there was 24 blokes who turned up and they were split up into the 2 teams who are now the Arrks and Raiders.
The Arrks were a mixture of men who knew nothing too much of the rules (and still don’t) and so Rosco Limpus changed from the Road Runner Mercs to the Road Runner Arrks and taught them all they know today which is sad indictment on Rosco’s ability to get the message across and simply of the ability of his charges to receive the messages and just a general lack of ability. They became firm friends and still are today. They were Rosco Limpus, Neville Jiggins, Henry Houghton, Bob King, Rob Allan, Laurie Stonehouse, Bob Thompson, Bob Baugh, Phil Harper, Tony Forder, Doug McGuiness, Jim Landells, Max Houghton.
We were later joined by John Turkington, Allan Cransberg, Terry Foote, Peter Minchin, Colin Yoong, Leffy Levisiannos, Alan Bowden, Steve Dumble, Max or Trevor (we are still not sure) Bovell, Nick Vandeness, Dave Buick, Tommy Tieman (better known as Ankles), Richard Appleton, Michael Jiggins, Damien Limpus, Peter Houghton, Andy King, Troy Seaman, Jason Brown, Steve Hoey, Derek Jones and Jason Smith.
There were many funny moments during our time as a team and I will list some of the more memorable ones.
We played our first season at Shelley reserve which became flooded very easily and we remember that on one occasion it was so wet that the water was about ankle deep and the Arrks were playing Sliders and Bob King hit the ball towards third base but the ball just stuck in the water half way between home and third base. Bob was determined to get to first base but was slipping sliding all over the place and decided to make a dive for the base and aquaplaned straight over the base and into the outfield while maintaining his composure and touching first base on the way through.
In the same game the Sliders coach Bob Boyd, better known as “2 Bob Bob because he wore the number 2 with his name underneath on his playing shirt, came up to bat with Rosco Limpus pitching. Bob let the first ball go straight over the plate to be called for strike 1. Bearing in mind that it was raining heavily and Bob then gave Rosco a bet that he couldn’t get another strike. He did not intend to swing at the ball and Rosco duly obliged and Bob was now on 2 strikes. Being a punter Bob then challenged Rosco to a second bet that he couldn’t get another strike. Again Bob didn’t swing and Rosco duly obliged and Bob trudged back to his team tent and gave a speech to the effect, “ Now I want you guys to get out there and hit the ball not like me.” The Arrks went onto a convincing 19 to 10 victory but “2 Bob Bob” had left his legacy for all time.
In another game against the Road Runner Mercs, Ross Atkinson was catching for them and was a hypo type of bloke, possibly undiagnosed ADD as a child. Robbie Allan stepped into the batters box, and as we all know Rob had a great command of the English language of expletives, and proceded to strike at the first three balls he faced and was struck out. Ross Atkinson then told Robbie he was out and to “Fuck Off.” Robbie pretended to be deeply offended by this remark (Ross’ statement was Robbie’s standard response to most things) and complained to the umpire about being spoken to in such a manner and that it was not “fucking right for him to say such things”. Ross Atkinson didn’t wait for the umpire to send him off, he took himself out of the game, took off his uniform and headed for the carpark.
Doug McGuiness was a player who had an unusual way of catching the ball which was by letting the ball hit him in the chest and letting it fall into his glove. Unfortunately his lack of co-ordination let him down on some occasions and the ball missed the glove. He only played one season and was not really a team player because he was more interested in the W.A.F.L. and on more than one occasion he would drive down to Shelley Reserve, count the number of Arrks who had turned up to play and if he could count nine would merrily go off to the footy.
After game social functions were something to behold with 2 eighteen gallon kegs and 1 ten gallon being drunk followed by some cans. It was standard practice by the duty team to raise the spear on the last keg so they could have a drink when all the other teams had departed. It was not unusual to get home at 8.30pm or later full as a bull. Some of the Arrks just went home, sat on the couch and promptly went to sleep only to wake up on Sunday morning sometime still in their softball uniform, boots and all.
After moving to Willetton Reserve in the second season and being there ever since and on a beautiful day when we were playing Wombats with Tony Forder fielding at third base and Tony was known for his casual manner was presented with a high fly ball which he had to move into foul territory to take but he misjudged the flight of the ball which missed his glove completely and hit him on the head and the ball landed foul. Tony’s response to his error was “It was going foul anyway”. In the next inning Tony was again presented with the same scenario with the exact same result except of this occasion Rosco Limpus who was playing at short stop came over to cover Tony and as the ball bounced from his head in landed in Rosco’s glove. Batter out.
It was decided that after each season all the families should get together for a family day out and that tradition still continues today and below can be seen the Arrks and their wives enjoying themselves.
On another occasion Laurie Stonehouse who was the Arrks usual first baseman but had become frustrated with the inability of the outfielders to take any of the many simple chances presented to them and after a discussion Laurie stationed himself at left field to show them how easily it was done. A ball was hit towards Laurie and he had to make a little bit of ground to make the catch but in doing so lost sight of the ball through his glasses and the ball struck him fair in the middle of the forehead and rebounded into Max Houghton who was fielding at short stop. Again batter out. In the next inning Laurie was back at first base. I suppose it’s not how you do it but the result that counts.
Jim Landells was not known for his skill at softball but he gave his best but finding a suitable fielding position for Jim was always difficult for Rosco as coach. Rosco took the bold step of playing Jim at 3rd base. Jim fumbled a couple of balls which were hit in his direction and was becoming a bit twitchy (we could hear his knees knocking together) as we were playing Raiders and one of their most powerful hitters Noel Smith was up to bat and appeared to be shaping to hit the ball down the 3rd base line. The ball was pitched by Rosco I think and unfortunately it was one that went straight down the middle of the plate at waist height. Noel connected fiercely with ball and Jim was already gearing himself up for another bullet to head his way which it duly did straight at Jim”s head and out of self preservation more than anything else Jim put his glove in front of his face and the ball slammed into the pocket of his glove and stuck. Jim was unaware this had occurred and turned around to see where the ball had gone and couldn’t see it and he looked in his glove and found it and no-one was more surprised than Jim. Jim never played 3rd base again.
In the first couple of years the Arrks experimented with different people in various positions until we found a spot where they made less mistakes. One day Neville Jiggins was put at centre field when the ball was hit towards him and the runner was attempting to make second base. The ball bounced perfectly into Neville’s glove and it appeared that the runner was doomed to be out at second base but Neville in his haste to throw the ball, cocked his arm back to propel the ball to the second base when it slipped from his grasp and the backward movement of his arm and he threw it a further 20 metres into the outfield. Unfortunately by the time Neville has recovered the ball the runner had successfully made home plate.
As we all know the duty team had to get the food and drinks from Hambley’s store in Queens Park and use Graham Hambley’s trailer to transport them to the ground and at the completion of day return the trailer to Graham Hambley’s home so he could return it to the shop on Monday. As bad luck would have it Robbie Allan volunteered (I think he was pushed) to collect the trailer and with Rosco, Jiggo, Henry and Bob duly returned the trailer to Graham’s home. Full of good cheer the Arrks drove away content that they had completed a good days work as the duty team. Unfortunately when Robbie got up Sunday morning he noticed something hanging down from the rear of his car. Upon investigation he found that he had failed to dis-connect the 5 point plug from the trailer and had the entire length of wiring from the trailer hanging from his plug point on his car. He returned the wiring to Graham and promised not to do it again. Unfortunately as time would have it the next season Robbie again drove his car for duty team and repeated the exact same scenario and it was then decided that Robbie could assist with duty team function but was banned from using his car.
Alan Cransberg (Big Al), who is now the CEO of Alcoa Australia, (between Big Al, Laurie and Dave you think we could have got some sponsorship from Alcoa, but it just didn’t happen mainly due to the lack of enthusiasm of these blokes) came down to play for the Arrks after his football career with the Swan Districts football club had come to an end and was known to either punch his team mates in the arm or jump on their back as if he was going for a mark in footy. The team soon became sick of this and Jiggo told Alan that it would not be tolerated any more. He then resorted to kissing everyone in the ear (Merv Hughes style) but he was caught unprepared by Jiggo one day and Jiggo gave him the biggest tongue kiss in the ear and Big Al decided he didn’t like it and was happy just to push anyone in the near vicinity but refused to take his eyes off Jiggo for fear of another attack.
Arrks during the 1993 season.
Laurie Stonehouse was a serious player and was at great lengths to ensure that his glove, bat and clothing were in top order before a game. During one game Laurie was heading out to bat when he looked at the soles of his boots and noticed that the bottom of the boots had become clogged with mud and grass. As all good players do Laurie decided the easiest way of cleaning the mud and grass from his boots was to give his boots a tap with the bat and it would all fall off. As another accident prone Arrk Laurie missed his boot and whacked himself in the ankle and proceded to hop around complaining about his sore ankle while the rest of the team couldn’t help but laugh.
Robbie Allan was person who tried very hard and he was one of the more colourful players in the team and was stationed at left field and ball was hit is his direction and Rob had to make a considerable to attempt the catch but unfortunately he didn’t quite make it. Steve Dumble who thought he was a better player than most then told Robbie “If he had run faster he could have caught the ball”. When swiveled round to face Steve and replied” When you can run as fast as Carl Lewis you can say something but until then fuck off”. At the end of the inning and Arrks trudged from the ground Laurie Stonehouse who was coach at the time approached Robbie and said, “I won’t tolerate my players speaking to one another like that”. Robbie quickly replied “You can fuck off too.) Robbie was not openly criticized by Steve ever again.
In 1993 the Arrks were playing the Grand Final for the Plate and Neville Jiggins wanted to warm his arm up as he was to start as pitcher so threw warm up balls to the most of the team until Rosco Limpus stepped up to warm up and Jiggo just threw a fast ball (his fast but generally reasonably slow) and Rosco hit it straight back at Jiggo who instead of using his glove to protect himself turned around so that his back was facing Rosco and unfortunately for Jiggo it hit him dead centre of his backside which sent Jiggo off yelping “My arse, My arse”. As we had only 9 players everyone quickly went to see how Jiggo was. Not being bashful Jiggo dropped his pants to see if any damage had been done to his backside (He can fart God save the Queen in tune when he wants) and to overyone’s amusement it was noted that the ball had hit the middle of his bum with a perfect 50% red mark on each cheek complete with stitch marks. No one, if you know Jiggo was game to touch the affected area for fear of a gas leakage. Much to all the Arrks delight Jiggo pitched beautifully and the Arrks won the Plate.
The Arrks were not known for training excessively or even at all for fear of using all our best efforts on the training track but over the years it think it as shown we didn’t have too many best efforts but the 5 plate winning grand finals showed we had some.
John Turkington was the Arrks secretary at the AGM’s held at the Burrendah Tavern which is another tradition continued still. The minutes always reflected accurate closing times so the wives would not get upset. It was usually about 5.52pm on most occasions as that was just after the last race at Ascot. An excerpt from the minutes of the 1995 AGM shows that the coach R.King (Arrking) had nothing to say other that we were the champions after having defeated the Hammers in the grand final for the first time in 11 years and after being 0/4 down after the first dig. A significant highlight was Nick Vandeness’ catch to seal the win and if you haven’t about the story it begins likes this. It was a dark and stormy night….. The Treasurer’s report was brief and to the point. We received a lot, we spent a lot and we have $20 left over, let’s have beer. The minutes show that was the year that the Arrks Lotto was introduced with outstanding success. Robbie Allan was voted in as coach for the season and placed on a performance based contract and also in a landmark decision he had John Turkington as Assistant Coach and Alan Cransberg as Batting Coach as this was recognized as a major flaw in the Arrks makeup, the inability to score more runs than the opposition. Unfortunately for Rob he failed to live up to his early promise and the Arrks finished 9th at the end of the season. Robbie was dismissed at the next AGM for failing to meet performance parameters. At this meeting it was decided at the all members who had played 10 years with the Arrks would become life members and given the status of Senior Arrk. Benefits extended to Senior Arrks were:-
1. Free entry to all games
2. Free parking at all games
3. Free induction to the Arrks Hall of Fame
4. Lead other Arrks in ARRRRRRks chant.
5. Free use of the Arrks tent during season.
6. Assist coach with team placements & selections.
7. Offer coaching advice to younger Arrks.
8. Abuse opposing players the need arose.
Other advancements in membership status were:-
1. Nick Vandeness graduated to senior junior member.
2. Richard Appleton and Alan Cransberg graduated to apprentices to the Senior Junior member.
3. Dave Buick had the dual honour of being apprentice to the apprentice senior junior members and junior junior member.
Henry Houghton, a pitcher of some renown within the Arrks Softball Team was carrying out his duties as pitcher when the batter of the opposing side hit the ball straight back at him and Henry not wanting to have the ball go past him put out his right hand to stop the ball and succeeded in stopping the ball with his right gloveless hand and getting the batter at out first. Much to his dismay his index finger looked a bit crooked and we all gathered round to see Henry grab hold of his finger by the end and shake it around and with the immortal words said, “See it’s not broken, I’m OK.” Unfortunately the pain got worse on Sunday a duly arranged visit to the doctors confirmed that the finger was probably not broken until Henry shook it around. A steel pin was inserted down the length of Henry’s finger to the knuckle with a small piece protruding from the end of his finger which Jiggo quickly and aptly named “Mick Jagger”. After several weeks of healing the pin was removed and Henry resumed his duties on the mound. In the next game unfortunately for Henry another ball was smashed back straight at him and he went down like a ton of bricks. All the Arrks gathered around fearing the worst that Henry had again injured his finger. Laurie Stonehouse enquired with Henry as to where he got hit and Henry in a very high voice said “It got me in the knackers”. Laurie quickly responded with “Thank God for that we were worried about your finger”. Henry recovered to play the next week and Pam said “The bruising is still there but the swelling has gone down”. Henry wished it had been the other way around.
John Turkington who was known in the Arrks as “BOG” (best man on the ground because he kept falling over followed by a groan of Arrrrrh) and “WALT” (As in Walt Disney for being the most animated player in the team) and he usually fielded at second base but we were short of players and John was forced into playing at first base. As previously mentioned John was not the most agile person around and a left handed batter came to the plate and the ball was hit in John’s direction with a heavy topspin on it and John kept his glove up and ball dipped sharply before John could re-adjust his stance or glove position and the ball went straight through his legs into the outfield. John thought he had only just missed making the catch by a narrow margin but Rosco Limpus who was fielding at short stop told John that he had missed it by about 2 feet to which John replied “That much Huh”. John joined the retired ranks the following season.
Bob King was one of the great catchers for the Arrks and on one occasion he forgot to wear his box covering his family jewels and all was going well until Jiggo pitched a ball which landed on home plate and Bob was unable to lay a glove on the ball and it ricocheted just high enough to rattle Bob’s family jewels and he went down like a pack of spuds on top of home thus preventing any player trying to get home. Bob never forgot his box again but he was spoke in a soprano voice for the remainder of the day.
In the early years anyone who got angry, spat the dummy or just generally got angry at the team or umpires for any reason they were made to wear a dummy pinned to the uniform when we went to socialize after the game. There were several notable wearers of the dummy and they were Jiggo, Rosco and of course Robbie who wore it the most. On one occasion Jiggo and Robbie had a heated argument in which Robbie was in the wrong and so Rosco went to his bag and got the dummy out (it’s still there) and approached Robbie who threatened Rosco by saying ”Don’t think you are putting that thing on me again.” After a few short words and prayers for Robbie he decided he had better just wear it and get it over and done with. In recent times Derek Jones would be certain contender after being disappointed with team’s effort and his own was heard to say “This is fucked”. Before the dummy could be retrieved from Rosco’s bag Derek began to go to his car. Pam was then heard to say ”If you are leaving for good, give us back the uniform.”
As all the Arrks know Neville Jiggins has a few eyesight problems when fielding in the outfield but determined to make an improvement in this area Neville went and got himself some prescription glasses (multi-focal style) and wore them to the first training session of the season in 1994 and began fielding in the outfield. Well to everyone’s astonishment Jiggo took every catch that came his way and he even cut a few blokes off to show how good the glasses had changed his effectiveness. In due course Neville had his turn to bat and returned to the outfield where he commenced dropping every ball that came his way. The remainder of the team couldn’t help notice the difference and Jiggo said “I don’t know what’s wrong with these glasses” and went to tap the lens to see if that would help but much to his dismay he just poked himself in the eye as the lenses had fallen out. After about a 10 minute search of the oval the lenses were located but Jiggo could only see out of one eye after poking himself in the other. We are still not sure to this day whether he plays better with the glasses on or off as he has mixed results either way.
To say the Arrks team members are accident prone would be an understatement and it occurred again in the 1992 Grand Final for the plate (what other trophy does the Arrks play for) when the Arrks were extremely short of players and played the game with only 9 players. Tragedy struck in the 4th innings when Bob King dived into home plate to score a run for the team only to dislocate his shoulder and have to be carted off to hospital for it to be fixed. The Arrks had their backs to the wall and fielded with only 2 outfielders for the remainder of the game but were successful and triumphed with another trophy win. We all got well and truly under the weather except for Bob who was a sore and sorry sight. It probably didn’t
help that the team patted him on the back for scoring a run with his shoulder injury.
Rosco Limpus you could say had a very bad accident prone year in 2007 when he received many unfortunate accidents. It all started on Christmas eve in 2006 when Rosco has his front tooth crack in half and make him look like count Dracula but luckily or unluckily he had a mate Barry Daniels (known as the fang farrier) who he was able to contact at a Christmas function and arrange for temporary repairs to be made. Barry was pretty well on the way to being totally pissed but got through the procedure and asked Rosco to return after Christmas. He took one look at the tooth and said “Gees I must have been pretty pissed to make such a hash of the job”. The tooth was rectified with a cap and all was proceding nicely until one game in 2007 against the Rangers when Jiggo was fielding at short stop and Rosco at second and they attempted a run down play of Alan Grose sliding back into second, Jiggo threw the ball which hit Alan in the middle of his back then bounced of his helmet and you guessed it hit Rosco in the same tooth which resulted in another trip to the dentist. Still not content to have his tooth problems continue Rosco was playing in another game at second base when the ball hit a divot in the grass and yes you are right again it collected Rosco in the same tooth again which resulted in the tooth having to be removed completely and all these accidents resulted in a $4,500.00 dentist bill. Rosco retired in 2008.
Achievements
It would be remiss to not mention the achievements of the Arrks over the 25 years the association has been running and most notable would be the teams commitment to run the “Arrks Wheel” for 20 years and raising in excess of $85,000.00 in fundraising so the end of the year function would be subsidized for all members. Rosco organized with Dino Guerinoni (since passed away but was a great bloke) from Chicken Treat in Willetton to supply 4 chooks each week and Graham Hambley organized with his suppliers to donate 2 cartons of beer each week. Claude Minuta should also be mentioned as he donated a bottle of port to be raffled but being the shy type he is didn’t want it known he was doing so but the Arrks could not let such a contribution go unnoticed by the members and it was appropriately named “The Anonymous Claude’s Port”. He still donates to this day and has been a superb supporter of the Association.
The Arrks have won the plate on 5 occasions and also had the pleasure in one memorable game on the 12th August 1989 of handing out a flogging to the Wombats (who are known to eat, root, shoot and leave) with the final score being 41 to 13. Henry (Blue Stripe) Houghton was the coach on this occasion and still lays claim that it was all due to his coaching tactics but everyone knows he still doesn’t know the signals for steal, bunt and hit and run and for that matter most of the team still forget and have to be told on more than one occasion.
Rosco was also made a life member the Willetton Men’s Softball Association in 1995. Neville Jiggins was made a life member of the Willetton Men’s Softball Association in 2005.
In 1990 Henry Houghton and Ross Limpus undertook the arduous task of re-writing the Constitution and incorporating the club thus protecting the office bearers from being held responsible individually for any accidents resulting from playing our sport. They also set out the objectives of the Association which are :-
(a) play softball in a competitive and enjoyable manner;
(b) encourage family involvement; and
(c) Promote comradeship through social interaction during and after games.
Terry Foote should be mentioned in dispatches as he responsible for providing the initial sponsorship from Mazda for both uniforms and our famous dugout.
Bob King and later on his son Andy should be mentioned for being a great supporter of the association by printing both the fixtures and end of season function tickets at no cost to the association. Well done Bob over a very long time which is very much appreciated by the Arrks and the association. He was the artist who produced the Arrks emblem which is an outstanding piece of ark work and history for the Arrks.
Robbie Allan must be credited with starting off the “ARRRRRRRRRRKK” team theme song as it was he who was behind Jigoo at a set of traffic lights and leaned out out his car window and gave Neville the famous call which set the pattern for the next 25 years.
ARRKs also promoted family involvement over the past 25 years by encouraging participation of at least 4 sons under the father/son rule, without which the Association will not survive (given it was originally founded by fathers whose sons played tee ball, and we have had difficulty in recent years in attracting new blood). Those father and son’s who played together were Henry and Peter Houghton, Bob and Andrew King, Neville and Michael Jiggins and Rosco and Damien Limpus. Damien is missing from this photo.
